Leave:

• Hover Boards- “ok we admit, it looked kinda cool the first time we saw it, but now they’re overused, annoying and a danger to all surrounding people. Walk like a normal person, okay?”
• Parents Trying to Whip and Nae Nae- “IT PHYSICALLY HURTS!!!!!!”
• Whipping and Nae Nae-ing in General- “stop, reevaluate yourself, gain your dignity, resume”
• Talking About Deez Nuts- “oh yay YET ANOTHER joke about private parts how original and classy”
• Donald Trump- “do we need an explanation here? no… oh okay, next!”
• Lulu Lemon- “go back to 6th grade you’re not at a gym sweetie. This is life.”
• Iggy Azalea & Raven Symone- “simply put, iggy is a piece of burnt toast and Raven is a problematic old lady trying to connect with the youth.”
• High Schoolers with BMW Convertibles for First Cars- “Go back to Macy’s and buy some more salmon shorts and Ralph Lauren shirts to go with it.”
• Meninists- “why? how?, no. Do research before you buy the tshirt. btw you’re not gonna get a girl with that just so you know.”
• Cheap Boy Bands- “I just love reused guitar riffs, autotuned voices, cheap lyrics you can guess before it’s said and plastic boys with tragic haircuts.”
• Magcon- “shave your arm hairs and peach fuzz oh my gosh Maggie just do it already.”
• Minions- “we all die a little inside when we see their faces plastered on almost every product we own. They need to stop or else we’ll all be dead by 25”
• The Bee Movie?- “*changes facebook relationship status to ‘Romantically involved with an insect*”
• Bill Cosby- “Now selling his old sweaters for 19.99$ at Forever 21. They’re using the money to pay his lawyers.”
• #TheDress- “it was confirmed that it was black and blue so stop arguing about it! besides the dress is ugly anyways…”
• ME BEING SINGLE- “In the words of Evanescence, (Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can’t wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can’t wake up) Before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I’ve become”
• Bronies- “we all know that one guy….”
• Fedoras with Sequins- “Take them off the Justice shelves.”
• “Daddy”- “The title ‘Daddy’ is for the man who helped make you, not the man you’re dating. Should people call their girlfriends Mommy? No? Thought so.”
• That Boy From That Bat Mitzvah you Met so Many Years Ago- “You had a little fling and you’ve never gotten over it. It’s time to move on sweet heart and leave him and his cute puppy dog eyes, hot abs amazing personality and soft hair in 2015.”

Bring:

• That Boy From That Bat Mitzvah you Met so Many Years Ago- “even though you tried to leave him in 2015, we both know honey, you can’t.”
• Dank memes- “The fastest way to a girls heart is by using memes.”
• Boys with Glasses- “At least they will be able to see the mistakes he made before you break up with him.”
• Moolah ($_$)- “Gotta get that cash flow.”
• 4.0 GPA- “We all know that your new year’s resolution is to get better grades, why not start with getting a 4.0?”
• Clear skin- “Stop eating all of last years peppermint bark that they still sell at small fabric stores, or off brand drugstores.”
• Cure for cancer- “Find it.”
• Zendaya- “just casually changing the game, one day at a time”
• The New Incredibles Movie- “Slay like Jack Jack.”
• Finding Dory- “Because Ellen playing a forgetful and fat fish is truly my aesthetic”
• DJ Khaled’s snap story- “Another one.”
• Sleep- “Get off snapchat.”
• Snackeez- “The fun and creative way to become obese on the go.”
• A New Car- “Your grampa’s old station wagon.”
• Oprah’s Favorite Things Reboot- “You get a new car, and you get a new car.”
• A New Bae- “Create a www.glutenfreesingles account.”
• Jimmy Johns Having Yellow Peppers- “Even though we will all pick off the peppers from our sandwich, Jimmy Johns needs them in their selection so they can sit out for hours and fit my aesthetic.”
• Sweet Sweet Revenge- “We all know your salty, but revenge is sweet. Get started on your new year’s resolution.”
• More Followers- “Stop buying them hun.”
• Ari’s Jawline- “cuts paper, cuts diamonds, available for a limited time on craigslist.”